Fear of Heights
by Wesz
Summary: Scott meets Liam for the first time on the Lacrosse field. Something sparkles between them and Scott instantly finds himself interested. It takes a whole month before he sees Liam again and his feelings for the boy are slowly starting to develop.


First of all I'm gonna be cocky and say I'm so proud of this fic. It feels more real, more sincere and I'm seriously excited over it. I suppose you guys should just start reading and let me know what you think. I can't wait to hear from you!

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Tonight's the Beacon Hills vs. Devenford Prep match at Beacon High.

Outside, everything is cloaked in the darkness of the evening. The lampposts are illuminating the lacrosse field, and the first supporters are already filling the benches. Their gloved hands are holding signs and most of them are wearing warm hats, protecting their ears from the sheer cold that early November brings. A light fog is covering the dewy grass blades, and there's pre-game tension in the air.

Fifteen minutes later both teams jog onto the field. The audience erupts into loud cheers, but the players are ignoring them, their head already in the game. Scott's the only one who shoots a quick wave to his mother, who he has spotted on the second row next to Sheriff Stilinski.

When he turns around he scans the field and the other team. His eyes fall onto the opposing captain, a boy that looks significantly younger than Scott. His small frame is hidden under the lacrosse gear. He attempts to put his helmet on, but stops his movement when he meets Scott's gaze. Scott's heart drops into his stomach for a moment, mesmerized by how the floodlights hit the boy's soft facial features. He's sharp around the edges, especially in contrast to his steaming breath that's clouding in the freezing air.

Scott walks up to him, holding the boy's look. The captain mimics him, not wanting to lose the fight for dominance that has unofficially started.

They meet halfway and Scott sticks out his hand.

"I'm Scott. Team captain," the tanned teenager introduces himself.

"Liam," the shorter one replies. His eyes are squinting a little, and Scott notices the sharpness has faded; recognizes the youth on his cheeks. Liam has taken Scott's hand and is shaking it with a firm grip. Scott doesn't back down, instead feeling the dampness on the boy's palm.

"Wanted to wish you a good game," the older one continues.

"Same goes for you, Scott."

Their gazes linger for a couple of seconds. Scott's toes curl from the pressure between them, tension settling down deep inside his lungs. He has lost feeling in his fingers, unsure if it's from Liam's tight grip or from something else. His head is pounding and Liam's breathing is rasp, echoing in Scott's ears.

"McCall! Huddle up!" Coach pulls them out of their trance. He sounds angry, nervous.

"I think you should go," Liam says when they've let go of each other.

Scott nods. It's a small act, but definitely there. The deepness of Liam's eyes have lured him into his soul and Scott's seeing silver flashes mixed with red.

Liam turns around, walks off, looks back across his shoulder one more time and catches Scott still staring at him. He puts on his helmet, sheltering his hot ears.

Beacon Hills wins and Scott and Liam don't meet again for another month. But even thirty days later Scott can still see into Liam's ocean colored eyes. He can still go back to that moment when they met and recall what he had seen. A beloved childhood, a fear and a hidden secret; evened out and interesting all together.

"I'm just saying that if Malia doesn't let me be the big spoon at least once tonight, my balls are going to spontaneously fall off," Stiles rambles as he and Scott walk through the hallway. "They're gonna fall off, Scott."

Outside, rain is pouring from the sky, but inside the school they're dry and warm. The sixth day of December is releasing its last autumn agony and the dark clouds make it seem like dusk is already falling around them, but it's barely eleven AM.

"Why don't you just ask her?"

"Because it's..." Stiles huffs out a deep breath. "Because that's...I don't know...you don't ask a girl if you can be the big spoon, Scott. It's weird, okay? Just weird. And it freaks me out."

Scott frowns at him. "It's weird because you make it weird," he chuckles. "Then again, you tend to make every situation weird, so..."

"What's that supposed to-"

Stiles' sentence fades into the background. The words coming from his mouth dance around Scott's head, seeming unable to find his ears. Scott narrows his eyes, looking past the people in the crowded corridor. He notices a familiar spiky haircut and his toes curl when he fully recognizes the boy.

"Hey, Liam, what are you doing here?" Scott asks, attempting to put a hand onto the other one's shoulder, but Liam had already seen the older guy coming up to him.

Liam shrugs, looking around himself. "I guess I go to school here now," he answers.

Scott blinks at him, cocks his head to the side. "But I thought you went to Devenford?"

Liam's left foot kicks the floor underneath him, staring down at it. He uses both his hands to strap his backpack tightly to his body and Scott notices how well defined his chest and arms actually are. The tips of his ears heat up.

"I did," Liam answers. His eyes flick back up at Scott again. "But I transferred."

"Why?"

Liam's eyebrows knit together. He takes a step back and rubs his neck. Scott can tell he bites his nails. "Parent stuff," Liam says, chewing on the inside of his cheek with a thoughtful look on his face.

"Oh."

Scott gawks at him for a beat longer. Stiles has already left for his next class, but Scott has a free period. The bell rings and Liam looks up at the sound as if he's surprised by it. Scott thinks it's adorable, because when Liam's looking up like that it reminds him of puppies. Liam takes a crumpled up piece of paper from his back pocket and reads it.

"I can walk with you?" Scott offers. His voice is low and warm and his vocal cords thrum along with it.

Liam shrugs, but a small smile pulls on the edges of his pink lips. Scott beams back at him and they start walking. Their footsteps are slow and Scott notices they're walking at the same pace. Students enter their classrooms and the hallways empty. They can hear the rain outside hitting the roof. It's silence, but a loud one. Comforting. The boys walk to where Liam has to be and Scott wonders what Liam's hair looks like when it's wet.

Liam has to twist his body to the side when a girl passes him. She doesn't look like she would move out of the way for him. His backpack bumps into Scott's arm and something heavy and unsettling forms in the pit of Scott's stomach when he sees Liam's eyes following the girl. A deep breath escapes his mouth at the realisation of the feeling.

He drops Liam off at his history class.

"Thanks, Scott," Liam voices his gratitude at the nice gesture. His strong jawline is defined by the artificial lighting in the hallway and Scott's blood is rushing through his veins.

"No problem."

Their eyes linger again for a moment before Liam turns around and attempts to walk off. Suddenly, Scott is stretching his arm out towards him, but the distance has already increased too much for his fingers to be able to reach the boy's wrist.

"Liam?" he calls out hastily.

The boy turns around. His face shows shapes of innocence and his eyes have a glimmer of hope. He looks Scott up and down, curious.

"Do you..." Scott averts his gaze to the floor, as if he can find the right words on the tiles beneath him. "Do you wanna have lunch later?" He beams back up at Liam.

"Sure," the boy agrees.

It's raining and Scott's inside, but he can feel the sun warming every inch of his skin.

The next hour he's texting Stiles. They're discussing what kind of present they should buy Lydia for her birthday, which is already just two weeks away. Scott wants to settle for a gift card for some fancy store, but Stiles thinks it has to be something more thoughtful. His friend stops replying after about thirty minutes and Scott figures his phone finally got taken by the teacher. He's sitting across from the door to Liam's classroom, and looks up from behind his phone when it opens. His heart throbs inside his rib cage, but it's just a guy who needs to use the restroom. Scott's sat on the floor, knees drawn op to his chest, arms on top of them. He opens a silly game and entertains himself with it for thirteen minutes longer, which means only twelve minutes before this period ends.

Finally, the bell announces that it's lunchtime and Liam looks surprised when he comes out of his classroom and sees Scott sitting against the wall. Scott flashes his lopsided smile at him and the air around him buzzes when Liam sticks out a hand to help him up. Scott takes it, noticing the dampness of his palm again, mind flashing back to the Lacrosse game from last month.

When he's up on his feet, Liam has to look up again. The boy licks his lips and Scott's fascinated by the tip of Liam's tongue. It looks tiny and soft, like velvety pillows.

"So, where to?" Liam asks.

"Follow me," Scott answers, nudging his head towards the left.

The cafeteria is already crowded with students, but Scott manages to find a free table. Liam sits down across from him and their feet bump into each other when they both stretch their legs. Liam looks away, his cheeks flushed with the lightest shade of pink imaginable and Scott's head has taken off into space.

From behind Liam, Scott can see his friends sitting at their usual table. They're mentioning for him to come over, but he waves, disregarding them. Liam frowns and looks over his shoulder in a quick motion.

"You can go to your friends, you know," he says.

"I know," Scott replies with a smile, but he doesn't move.

Their lunches are pulled from their bags and Liam groans at himself when he compares his little blue lunchbox with Scott's plastic wrapped sandwiches. Scott chuckles at him and grants him a comforting look, causing Liam to laugh at himself.

"Mom still makes my lunch," he admits, holding up his peanut butter and jelly, no crust.

Scott nods at him, his face showing all kinds of amusement. His own sandwich is almost falling apart from being crammed into his bag all morning.

"That's nice."

Liam looks at his food. There's a humming in the back of his throat as he takes a bite. "I guess she likes doing it," he says mid-bite, holding his hand in front of his mouth so that Scott can't look into it. The older guy notices Liam's fingers are trembling and he wonders if he's cold.

"See, my mom is mostly rushing because she has to go to work."

"What does she do?"

"She's a nurse at the local hospital."

"Cool."

Silence falls between them while they enjoy their lunch. Scott fishes out a can of Red Bull and Liam gives him a disgusted look when Scott offers him a sip.

Scott's taken aback by this. He purses his lips into a thin line as he uses the sleeve of his hoody to dry the spot he just drank from. With a satisfied smile, he offers it again.

Liam laughs at his misunderstanding. "Sorry, I can't drink that stuff."

"Oh my gosh, why not?!" Scott exclaims, question a little louder than he had intended it to be. "It's so good!"

Liam's shoulders shake from laughing. "I get too pumped up from it."

"I'm pretty sure I would die without it."

"Yeah?"

"Totally. This stuff is like life juice to me."

"Sounds like you've got a bit of an addiction going on there, Scott," Liam jokes.

It's lame, not well thought of and not funny at all, but it's the first joke Liam makes and Scott's glowing, because it's their first step to friendship.

They finish their food, and while Liam vows to throw out his lunchbox as soon as he gets home, Scott promises to himself to buy one for him. Even if it would just be to mess with the boy.

"So, do you have any addictions?"

Liam smiles, because that conversation had ended ten minutes ago. "I guess I do, but it's not unhealthy like yours."

Scott pouts at his remark and Liam blushes, making Scott's fingers twitch. "Working out," Liam then answers the question. "I have to do it every day or else I go crazy."

"We have a gym at our school."

"Mine had that."

Scott purses his lips for a moment. "Well...do you know where ours is yet?"

Liam shakes his head.

"I can..." The bell interrupts Scott and he grumbles in annoyance, but Liam's looking up again, and for the second time that day the image of puppies infiltrates Scott's mind.

"I can show you after school?"

Liam shakes his head. "I have lacrosse try-outs." He frowns. "Shouldn't you be there, too? You know, being the captain and all...that is, if you still are?"

Scott remembers. "Oh, yeah." His face heats up and he bends down to pick up his backpack from the floor. "See you there then, I guess."

"Sure thing, Scott."

On his way to math, Scott runs into Stiles and Malia. The latter of the two is trying to skip the class, but Stiles is dragging her back in.

"I hate math. It's pointless."

"It's school. School's important. And math's essential. "

Scott laughs at the couple, shaking his head as he walks past them. He sits down at his regular spot in the room: second row, fourth one down.

"They're good for each other, don't you think?" Lydia says, situated next to him. Even with the dark clouds outside her red hair is still shimmering, like flames. She's watching her friends with a thoughtful face, end of her pen near her full lips.

Scott gives her a sympathetic look. "I do," he answers. "They somehow...fit."

It seems like something's dawning on Lydia and she nods slowly. "They do."

Then she turns her head to look at Scott. He scoots away from her a little, because the look in her eyes has something threatening in it and Scott knows that look all too well.

"And you and the new guy? Do you two...fit?" She flicks her bottom lips as she speaks the last word, eyes penetrating. Her eyebrows move, indicating something Scott hadn't even thought of.

His eyes widen and his foot slips from the floor, causing him to almost fall off his chair and under the table. "W-What? You mean Liam? What about us?" he stammers, averting his gaze, looking back at her, looking away again.

Lydia shrugs lightly, tilting her head as she does so. A strand of hair falls in front of her eyes. "Given the fact you didn't come to sit with us, you know, as you always do."

Scott frowns. His heartbeat has picked up speed and he can feel it thumping in his fingertips. "N-No...there's nothing...I mean...it's not like I didn't want to sit with you... I just figured that, being new, it would be nice for Liam to have a friend and, I mean, he's a pretty nice guy, so... "

Lydia smiles knowingly, and Scott can tell she doesn't believe him. "You do know that he does have friends here, right?"

Scott gapes at her. "He does?"

"I saw him coming in this morning with two other guys. I gotta say, the blond one's very hot. Too young, but still nice to look at," she says. "The other wasn't really my type...but he had his arm around Liam."

Scott's stomach turns at that, like someone had just kicked it. He slumps down into his chair and is glad when the teacher up front calls for their attention. He spends the rest of the hour over-thinking Lydia's words, wondering.

And as it turns out, Lydia had spoken the truth, because that late afternoon at lacrosse practice, there are two guys hanging around Liam.

Scott grips his stick tighter, glaring at them from behind his mask. Stiles shakes him out of his train of thought when he puts a hand on his shoulder.

"Have you seen the new guys? They're really good," he says. "Like, really good. Like, I'm-fearing-getting-benched-again good."

Scott's jaw tightens, because he knows Stiles is right. He has seen it, too. But it's still raining and Liam's hair is heavy from the weight of it, and it's glowing, and Scott thinks it's the most interesting occurrence he has ever witnessed, so he can't be mad. He's hypnotized by it, and that one guy is really affectionate with Liam and Scott shouldn't care about that as much as he does.

"Hello? Earth to Scott?" Stiles waves his hand in front of his face. "You still with me, buddy?"

Scott blinks a couple of times. "Yeah, yeah. I've seen it," he answers. "But I don't think we should worry. We're good too, remember?" He pats Stiles' shoulder.

Stiles gives him a weird look, mouth half open. "We're not that good!" he says frustratingly, gesturing at the trio across the field.

"Oh, come on, dude, where's your confidence?"

Stiles raises his eyebrows at his best friend. "I'm pretty sure it's still in my room. On my bed. Along with my dignity and my masculinity."

"Still haven't talked to Malia, have you?"

"It's like I'm trying to move a boulder with my bare hands."

Scott laughs.

"Yeah? Is my misery amusing to you, Scott?" Stiles replies bitterly.

"Oh, don't be so dramatic," Scott responds, giving his friend a gentle push.

They finish their practice and, not to anyone's surprise, Liam makes the team. As well as the two other guys, whose names are apparently Garrett and Mason. Scott has a sour taste in his mouth that he can't get rid of. It finally disappears when Stiles drags him into a conversation with Liam. They're in the locker rooms and Liam smells like sweat and honey, which Scott thinks is great.

"So, Liam, I couldn't help but notice that you're really good," Stiles starts. "How's that, huh?"

Liam looks at Scott before his eyes are drawn to Stiles. "My step-dad taught me..." he hesitates, sensing a threat.

"Ah, did he? A wonderful man, your step-dad must be. And does he also get you your juice, or…?"

"Stiles!" Scott hisses at his friend, eyes wide.

Liam chuckles. "Dude, I'm not on steroids or anything, if that's what you think. I'm just that good..."

Stiles narrows his eyes. He's nodding, but he doesn't look like he believes what Liam's saying. In the background there are showers running and it drowns out some of the noise the other players are making. Stiles glares at Liam for a while longer, but then he backs off. His nose in the air he walks off, leaving a guilty Scott.

"I'm sorry," he apologizes. "He was so happy to finally make the team, and you guys really are good. He's just scared of getting benched again."

Liam shrugs it off, turning around to retrieve a towel from his gym bag. "It's okay. I get it."

Scott shuffles his feet, moving his weight onto his other leg. "So you're not mad?" he asks carefully.

Liam frowns and starts laughing. "Of course not! I could never get mad, especially not at you."

And just like that, Scott's legs turn into jelly and he has to grab a hold of a nearby locker to keep himself standing. Liam's jaw has dropped and he's looking at Scott with big, dopey eyes. His lips are forming words, but there's no sound coming from his throat. And worst of all, neither of them seems to be able to look away from the other. A shadow has fallen over Liam's face and it brings out the color in his eyes, which isn't helping Scott's leg situation.

"I-I mean..." Liam finally manages to voice. "I mean...you don't seem like someone who would upset anyone...you know...on purpose."

"Oh."

And just like that, Scott's legs find the floor again. "Right."

Liam runs a hand through his hair. There's electricity between them and it's exploding in their faces, finally making them both look away.

"Right," Scott repeats. "I, err...I should take a shower."

The other boy nods silently. Scott turns around and fills his lungs with air, as if he has just surfaced from being underwater way too long.

That evening, Scott's lying on his bed. His books are scattered around him in random places and he has kicked off his sheets. He can't concentrate. Somehow, he keeps thinking about Liam, and keeps picturing puppies. Scott wonders why he's doing so.

To make things worse, Lydia also keeps popping into his head, along with the look she had given him. And, of course, the memories of Mason being all touchy feely with Liam are occasionally there, too.

Scott rolls onto his stomach, his legs bent at the knee, feet swaying in the air. He has his phone in his hands and scrolls through his contact list.

"Hey, what are you up to?" Scott asks when he has finally dialled a number.

"Who's this?" the person on the other line wonders.

Scott rolls his eyes, shaking his head in amusement. "It's Scott. Very funny."

"Oh, Scott! Hi!" Lydia giggles her teasing nature away. "What's up?"

"Nothing much. Can't focus enough to study."

"So you decided to call me and distract me from my studying as well?" she asks.

"You're Lydia Martin," Scott answers matter-of-factly. "You don't have to study."

"I suppose you're right."

Scott can hear the smirk playing on her lips in her voice.

"So...I was just wondering..." Scott starts the conversation he was intending to have. "Is it weird when you want to be friends with someone?"

"What?"

"Is it weird when you want to be friends with someone?"

"No, Scott, of course that's not weird," Lydia replies. "Except when you're being so conscious about it. That is weird. Especially when you're being conscious about wanting to be friends with Liam."

Scott groans and Lydia laughs. "Oh, lighten up. I'm just messing with you," she soothes him. "Anyway, do you feel weird about it?"

Scott shrugs, before he realizes Lydia can't see it. "I don't know. Maybe a little," he admits, unsure. "But I'm also blaming you, because I didn't feel that way before you talked to me about it during math class."

"I'm sorry, Scott," her voice sounds honest. "I didn't mean to make it awkward for you." She pauses. "But to answer your question, no. I don't think it's weird that you want to be friends with someone. Sometimes we're just naturally drawn to people. Like I am to Louis Vuitton."

Scott laughs at her self-mockery, and it lightens his mood. A weight falls off his shoulders as he smiles. "Okay. That's all I needed to hear," he says.

"Then my work is done," Lydia replies. "But, seriously, Scott, I was just messing with you. Don't worry about it. If you want to be friends with Liam, then go be friends. Don't make it weird. And don't let me make it weird. Okay?"

Scott nods. "Okay. I won't. Thank you. You're the best."

"They say that."

"Good luck studying."

"Bye bye, Scotty."

Scott ends the conversation and lets out a deep sigh as he stretches himself out on his bed. Lydia's right. He shouldn't make a big deal out of things that aren't really a big deal.

The next couple of days at school, Scott doesn't see Liam that much. Each time he does, Liam seems busy with his friends, and even though Scott has accepted that he has a certain need to become friends with Liam, he doesn't want to intrude on the time Liam and his real friends have together.

It's Wednesday when Scott walks into the school's library to return a book. The sun is out and piercing through the thin winter clouds, soaking the world with a gentle yellow light. It's not even

warm, but it gives the trees and the pavement such a sincere coating that it seems like everything outside's gleaming. The sun falls in rays through the library's windows, turning the dust in the air into sparkles. Combined with the musky smell of old books and the silence that permeates the space, the room feels cozy.

Scott offers the book to the librarian, along with his student pass. She scans both of the items and flashes a friendly smile. Scott looks up at the sound of a frustrated grunt that suddenly infiltrates the quiet atmosphere. He shoots a questioning look in the direction the sound had come from and, to his surprise, sees Liam sitting in a corner of the library.

"He has been here all afternoon," the librarian whispers. Scott turns back to her. "Studying. But I think he's having a hard time." She sighs. Her grey hair is bundled together in a messy knot. "It saddens me that students don't get the right amount of attention to ensure they understand a chapter. Young teenagers shouldn't have to deal with so much stress."

Scott's face falls at her words and he looks back at Liam again. He doesn't notice the librarian is looking at him from the corner of her eyes. Scott sucks in a sharp breath, his chest rising from it, and he holds it as he makes his way over to the boy.

"Hey," he says softly. "Are you okay?" He puts a hand on Liam's shoulder, noticing how tensed up the muscles feel under his touch. The contact causes a shiver to run down Scott's spine and he can feel Liam shaking.

The boy twists his neck and looks up at him. Scott cocks his head to the side when he sees the dark rings under Liam's eyes. In the weak sunlight they look purple, and Scott thinks that it's not really a great color on Liam.

"Chemistry test," Liam explains, gesturing at the sprawled out books in front of him. "Don't get it."

Scott purses his lips before he pulls out the chair next to Liam and sits down on it. "I've already covered this topic. Maybe I can help?"

Liam rubs his eyes with his knuckles. The rings turn red for a second and Liam's still biting his nails. The outlines of his hair sparkle in the gold light, just like the dust does. Scott wants to ruffle it.

"Don't you mind?" Liam asks.

Scott throws him a sincere smile. "'Course not." He scoots closer, bumping legs with Liam by accident. The older one can feel his ears redden and Liam's cheeks are covered with that faint pink color again.

"Alright, so..." Scott's eyes wander across the letters. Liam has nice handwriting. Small, but clear. "Show me where you're stuck." He crosses his arms in front of his chest, his elbows leaning on the large wooden table, pushing him up a little. He hovers over the pages, his face close to Liam's. So close that he can smell the boy's minty breath when he speaks.

Together, they work out the subjects Liam's struggling with. Scott can tell by Liam's slumped shoulders that he's feeling less stressed.

"Do you wanna know the real reason why I had to change schools?" Liam asks after it has been silent for a while. He finishes his last assignment.

Scott looks up from the papers. The atmosphere around them shifts into something more private, the pressure of it weighing down on him. "Sure," he answers, giving him a lopsided smile.

Liam fumbles with his pen, scrunching his nose. "I got kicked out," he admits.

Scott's eyebrows rise in surprise, but he remains silent, granting Liam the space to continue his story.

"I have a disorder..." he says. "...One that makes me blow up?" He gives Scott a difficult look, his left eye narrowed a little. Scott can still see its ocean colors. "It's called Intermittent Explosive Disorder, I.E.D., and it means that when I get too frustrated, I tend to blow up and go into a rage."

Scott nods, showing that he's understanding what Liam's saying. Liam's face is soft again, not all sharp and edgy like when Scott had put a hand on his shoulder.

"My old coach took me off the team when I accidentally hurt another teammate..." Liam whispers. "I was upset, because I felt like I needed lacrosse and working out to blow off steam." He swallows, and Scott watches the muscles in the boy's throat move. "I begged my coach to give me back my spot, but he refused, so..." Liam bites his bottom lip. "So I went ballistic and used a crowbar to smash up his car..."

Scott's a bit shocked by Liam's honesty, but he resists the urge to back away. Liam finally meets Scott's eyes.

"So thank you...for helping me with this."

The reason why Liam shared this personal part of himself makes Scott's organs churn. He flashes a gentle smile.

"You're welcome. I'm happy to help."

A small smile curls around Liam's lips and for a second they're staring at each other again. Liam's eyes have returned to their natural color. They're not as deep as they were before and now that they're lighter, Scott can see through them more clearly. The secret's gone.

"So...do you take, like, medication for it?" Scott wonders. There's a certain carefulness in his words.

"I have it...but I don't take it regularly," Liam answers. "They wear me down."

Scott's eyes flick to the dark bags under Liam's eyes. He nods. "That sucks."

"It is what it is."

Liam grabs his pen more steadily and starts working on another assignment again. Scott notices his hands are still quivering and he frowns.

"Are you..." he hesitates. "Are you still frustrated now?"

Liam gives him a confused look, and Scott indicates with his eyes to his fingers. Liam's mouth forms a silent 'oh' before he smiles. "No, I'm just nervous."

Scott's ears prick up, his face growing hotter again. "Why are you nervous?"

The boy blushes, peering at the papers in front of him. The end of his pen disappears into his mouth, and with a muffled voice he replies simply, "Because you make me nervous."

Sweat starts forming on Scott's forehead. His skin catches fire, suddenly aware of the fabric of his clothes, and he's sure the librarian will be next to him with a fire extinguisher any second now. He feels like he has chugged down three cans of Red Bull, his nerve endings buzzing like crazy.

"You keep staring at me."

Scott huffs out a breath he didn't know he was holding. All the muscles in his body relax at the same time and then Liam's words sink in. He quickly averts his gaze and shifts in his seat. "Sorry, I didn't mean to."

Next to him, he can hear Liam softly chuckling.

And it's lame, not well thought of at all, and definitely not funny, but Liam's laugh breaks down the silence and vibrates through the room, and Scott's sure it's the most beautiful sound he has ever heard.

"Liam! There you are!" a voice suddenly sounds behind them.

A wave of sadness washes over Scott when he turns around and recognizes Mason. The bitter taste seeps back into his mouth and Scott's expression sours.

"You're supposed to come with me to the mall and meet and approve of my new boyfriend, remember?"

And just like that, the sparkles inside the library ignite and explode, evaporating the wave that had crashed over Scott a second earlier.

"Shit. Mase, I'm sorry. I got distracted."

Mason shoots a suggestive look at Scott."Hmhm, I can see why."

The older one shows a goofy smile, the tickles in his stomach an indication of his shyness. Yet, he's flattered, grinning at the floor.

"Mason!" Liam hisses, looking at his friend with wide eyes. "Shut up."

The boy shrugs it off. "That's what you get for forgetting about me."

"Shut. Up." Liam repeats with a serious, threatening undertone.

"It's okay," Scott attempts to soothe the situation between them. He isn't bothered by Mason's flirty nature. "There was once a guy in my class here who had a crush on me. I'm used to it."

Liam seems to realize something and he lets out a relieved breath. Him and Mason say their goodbyes and exit the library, leaving an oblivious Scott to himself.

The Monday afterwards, Scott runs into Liam at the school's gym. The older one's surprised to see him there and he remembers something.

"Wait...I was supposed to show you this place, wasn't I?" he says after he has walked up to Liam, who's laying on the bench press. The muscles in his upper body are pumped up from the workout and he's glistening with sweat.

Liam puts down the weight bar and laughs. "Yeah, you were," he admits. "But you're a bad friend like that."

Scott's neck heats up. "Yeah...sorry..."

Liam laughs at him, punching his shoulder in a playful manner. "I'm just messing with you. Don't worry about it."

Scott gives him a relieved smile. "Thanks, then I won't." He stares at Liam's face again, noticing the bags under his eyes have gotten darker. Scott frowns and something uneasy settles in the pit of his stomach. "Are you okay? You look...tired."

Liam pulls on the ends of his gym shorts. He's still panting a little from training. His breath sounds ragged, hoarse. It drums in Scott's ears.

"That's because I've been taking the medication regularly again."

"Why?"

"Because I had to."

Scott makes a clicking sound by pressing his tongue onto the roof of his mouth and releasing it. He wants to ask why, again, but also doesn't want to push his limits. His gym shoes rub against the floor as he moves his feet in discomfort.

"Did something happen?" he takes another chance.

"Nothing special."

Scott hums, nodding, but he isn't satisfied with the answer. Liam cocks his head at him in a suspicious manner. "Scott, don't worry about it. I'm fine, I promise."

Scott looks back up at him, now suspicious himself. "Who said I was worrying?"

Liam's eyes widen and Scott can hear his breath hitching in his throat. "Oh...right...sorry," he mutters, pulling harder on the ends of his shorts.

Scott chuckles and then Liam realizes the older one is just messing with him. It's lame, not well thought of and not funny at all, but it's the first joke Scott makes at Liam.

"I just want you to be okay," Scott admits in a whisper when their laughter has died down.

Liam rubs his face, hiding his burning red cheeks, which haven't turned that color because of his workout. He pulls himself together and it takes all his courage to meet Scott's gaze again. "Thank you. That's very sweet of you."

Now it's Scott's turn to hide his blush.

"I'm terrified of heights," Liam admits.

They've traded places on the bench press and Liam's spotting him. Scott narrows his eyes a little, because he's wondering how Liam's mind works. He pushes the bar up, breathing out.

"You can't be."

"Why not?"

"You're not scared of heights. You're scared of falling."

"Oh."

Liam seems to think about that for a moment. His eyebrows are knitted together and his lips have changed into a thin line.

"I found out when my dad built me a tree house."

"He built you a tree house?"

"Yup. I've never been up there. Not even once. Rude, right?" Liam chuckles.

"Not really."

"You don't think it's ungrateful?"

"Of course not."

"My dad thought it was."

Scott's face falls and he clicks the heavy bar back into its safety position. He slides out from under it and sits up. "Well, I think that's stupid. You didn't know you were scared back then, did you?"

"I didn't."

"Then how could he have found it rude?"

Liam shrugs. "Dunno."

Scott wipes the sweat off his face with his towel and switches places with Liam again.

"Are you scared of anything?"

"Nope. I'm fearless."

"Liar."

Scott laughs, before he starts thinking.

"I'm scared of ending up alone."

Liam gives a small nod. It's not like he can move a lot while pushing up a hundred pounds.

"I lost my girlfriend last year," Scott spills.

Liam's eyes widen and he pauses his workout. "Wow, that's heavy. I'm sorry."

"It's okay."

"What happened...?"

"We were out late at night...got caught up in a fight with some guys... It ended badly."

Liam huffs out a weighty breath, showing a crooked smile. His eyes are filled with empathy and Scott thinks it mixes well with the ocean blue.

"I'm scared I'll never find anyone that makes me feel like she did."

Liam bites his lip, his body still splayed out on the training machine. "I don't think you will."

"What do you mean?"

"I just think everyone makes you feel differently. I mean, I'm not saying you won't ever find love again... Just that you're never going to feel like she made you feel. Because no one's like her and you will never experience the same things as you did with her."

"Oh. I get it."

Liam gets up, patting Scott on the shoulder. "I don't think you should be scared."

Scott frowns a little, blood rising to his ears. "Why not?"

"Because you're..." Liam hesitates, swallowing. He looks away and then back up at Scott. "...Because you're one of the good ones, Scott."

Scott's stomach has found a skateboard and is doing back flips.

The weekend rolls up much faster than Scott had imagined it to. Lydia's party is Saturday night and Scott has offered to help out with getting things ready the night before.

"So I'm thinking a lot of poppy dance music," Lydia says as she scrolls through her Spotify on her laptop. "That always sets the mood, right?"

Scott's staring at the screen with her, but his mind is somewhere else.

It's with Liam.

"Alright," Lydia says, slamming her laptop closed, abruptly pulling Scott out of his thoughts and back to her bedroom. She flips onto her back on the mattress, feet on her pillow. "What's on your mind? You offered to help me and I've been nice enough to let you, but you've been absent all night. What's going on?"

Scott gives her a shocked look. "Nothing! Nothing's wrong! I'm fine!"

Lydia presses her lips together disapprovingly. "I know you, Scott McCall. You're an open book. Now tell me what's on your mind."

Scott sighs. "Promise that you won't make fun of me."

"Cross my heart and hope to die," Lydia replies, index and middle finger intertwined.

Scott eyes her silently for another second before he starts talking. "It's Liam. Liam's on my mind."

"Ha! I knew it!" Lydia exclaims, bare feet kicking in the air in excitement. Her toe nails are pained a deep shade of red.

Scott gives her a judgmental look, making her shut up. "Right. Sorry. Continue."

"I don't know what it means, okay? At first I thought I just wanted to be friends with him. I don't know, because he's interesting or something, but recently... I haven't been able to take my mind off him. And it's making me wonder if maybe..." he emphasises the word. "...There's something more going on."

Lydia's nodding at him, mouth closed, but her eyes are wide and full of hysteria.

"But I don't know for sure yet, okay?" Scott adds. "So don't get any ideas in your head."

She's still nodding. Scott gives her a suspicious look.

"You're already up to something, aren't you?"

More nodding.

It Saturday's night and Scott's looking forward to spending some time with his friends. Admitting to Lydia that he likes running into Liam at school every day, that he hopes he will, even, was nice. It reminded him of the nice relationships he had built around him. So spending a whole night with all of them is exactly what he needs.

Stiles shows up with Malia just in time, and naturally his friend's full of excitement.

"Dude, Lydia's birthday is, like, the event of the year. Everyone's invited and her parties always rock," Stiles explains after Malia has commented on his nervous jumping around for the third time.

"I don't get it. It's just a party. What can be so great about a party?" she says.

They're walking towards her house. Stiles has stopped dead in his tracks and is gaping at her with a how-could-you-say-that kind of face. The girl rolls her eyes at him and slips her hands into the pockets of her hot pants. "Never mind," she ends the conversation.

Scott laughs at their bickering from behind the back of his hand. He has Lydia's present in the backpack he has taken - Scott had won the argument and they had settled for a gift card after all - and he's excited to give it to her. Scott thinks giving presents is the nicest feeling ever, because then he can finally show his gratitude to someone. He can thank them for them being in his life every day.

When they walk up her front porch, they can already hear the low bass of music inside the house. It makes Scott's stomach thump and Malia rings the doorbell.

It takes a couple of seconds before Lydia opens up, dressed in a gorgeous dress that brings out her eyes, wearing a pair of high heels Scott praises her for being able to walk in. The whole outfit is completed by some accessories; a gold bracelet and a necklace.

They step inside, put away their coats and Scott hands her the present. He shoots an I-told-you-so look towards Stiles when Lydia flails around his shoulders after opening the hundred dollar gift certificate.

Stiles' obviously annoyed and to top it all off, Lydia says, "Thank you guys so much! Finally, it's not some lame attempt at trying to figure out my fashion sense. Or you buying me some expensive TV I already own anyway." Stiles fakes a smile, but Scott can tell he's gritting his teeth. "This is why you're my friends," the red haired one finalizes and Scott's sure Stiles is going to have to see a dentist soon.

They move through the living room into the backyard of the Martin household. Many people are already there and Scott recognizes a lot of them from school. They're around the pool, hanging out, chattering, and it's safe to say there's some underage drinking going on. Stiles and Malia take off when they see Kira.

Scott scans the place with a broad smile. Then, his heart drops into his stomach when his eyes fall onto a familiar group of people.

"You invited Liam?!" he exclaims after he has turned to Lydia.

She gives him a surprised look. "I did. And all his friends. They're cool, so why not?"

Scott can practically hear his blood rushing in his ears and his heavy sigh is audible in the night air.

"What?" Lydia asks, a little offended. "You guys are friends, right?"

"We are," Scott admits. "But after the stuff I told you last night I got to thinking and I realized that I actually do like him."

Lydia's facial expression brightens up even more before she squeals.

"You like, like him?!" she says, enthusiasm dripping from her voice. Scott's sure he could scoop it up from the floor and feed it to Stiles.

"I don't know, okay?" Scott hisses back. "And it's unbelievable that I'm admitting this to you first of all people."

Lydia puts a hand over her heart, faking offence. "Scott McCall, I will forever hold my peace..."

"Well, thanks. I appreciate that. I didn't mean to make it sound like-"

"...As long as you go over and tell him," she finishes her sentence, pressing a drink into Scott's hand and shoving him towards Liam's friends.

And of course in that moment, Liam's looking around, and he sees Scott standing there. His face lights up and he smiles widely at his friend. A wave follows and he motions for Scott to come over.

Scott sends Lydia a last dirty look. She just winks and waves at him, as if she has embraced the fact that she's going to hell.

"Hey, Scott!" Liam greets the taller guy. "How are you?"

Scott gives him a squinting look. Liam's looking different...looser, somehow. When he notices the red cup in his hand, Scott understands why. "Hey, Liam," he acknowledges him. "Garrett. Mason. It's nice to see you."

"Scott," Mason nods at him, examining him from head to toe. "Looking fine as always."

Scott chuckles and blushes, not noticing the elbow Liam punches into his best friend's rib cage. Scott takes a sip from his drink and instantly detects the taste of alcohol. He looks behind him to see if he can shoot another judgmental look at Lydia, but she has faded into the crowd.

"I didn't know you guys would be here," he says to the trio.

"We didn't know either," Garrett explains. "But Lydia invited us last minute."

Scott nods, his speculations confirmed.

"It's a cool party," Mason comments.

Scott smiles. "Lydia's kinda famous for parties. Especially at school."

The boy nods before he looks at his cup with a deep frown. "Well, I'm gonna get another drink," he announces.

"I'm coming with you," Garrett complies, walking past Scott, following Mason.

Scott notices Liam's looking up at him with an adorable smile. It makes Scott's lips tingle and he moves from his spot across Liam, taking a place next to him. He figures it'll be less awkward that way, and it sucks that he even has to think about that, because it didn't used to be awkward. He blames Lydia for making it so. The music is still bouncing up and down in his tummy and he takes another sip from the drink. The burning sensation feels nice in his throat, coating his nerves with a thick layer that grounds him.

"So, how are you doing?" Scott asks after moment of silence. "Are you...you know?"

"Still on my meds?" Liam finishes his sentence. His words sound as light as feathers and they linger in the night. "I've taken a day off," he admits. "I figured there'd be alcohol here, so." Ironically enough, a big yawn follows.

Scott nods, understanding. Another silence falls. Scott bites down on his tongue.

"You never told me what Mason's boyfriend is like?"

"He's cool. Nice guy and I think Mason really likes him, so all is good."

"Do you always have to approve of his boyfriends?"

"Yeah," Liam answers. "Ever since we had a falling out about a guy he was with who I didn't like. He turned out to be an asshole."

Scott hums in the back of his throat. It kills the conversation again and Scott wonders why it's suddenly so hard for him to talk to Liam. Why he doesn't dare to look at him. Why he's noticing Liam's voice sounds a little husky. Why he thinks his hair looks good, while its most likely looking the same as always.

And it doesn't help that, whenever Liam shifts his weight onto his other leg, his scent infiltrates Scott's nose. It makes his chest tingle, and his knees almost buckle every time it happens.

Liam's being quiet as well and for a second Scott wonders if Lydia has maybe said something to him. But then, he figures Lydia would never do something like that. It's true that she likes to make Scott uncomfortable, just to mess with him, but she wouldn't go that far.

The silence is fogging Scott's throat, making him uncomfortable. His foot is tapping on the pavement and he has lost track of how many times he has changed standing positions. He feels uneasy around Liam, and then Scott realizes he has screwed up a great friendship by admitting he feels more for the guy.

"I'm gonna say hi to Kira," he blurts out when it gets too much for him.

Liam looks up at him, clearly surprised. He kicks the ground and tightens his grip around his cup. Scott can see his knuckles turning white from it. "Yeah, yeah, sure," he replies.

Scott feels bad for leaving the boy all by himself, but he can't bear the discomfort any longer.

He has taken six big steps away from Liam when he stops in his tracks. He looks back and sees Liam looking helplessly around himself. His mouth has formed into a crooked smile, but he has a sad look in his eyes. It's as if a knife runs through Scott's heart and he realizes this isn't him. He sighs, mentally kicks his own butt and decides to man up and get over it.

His backpack is where he had left it, hidden under his coat in the hallway. He reveals it and takes something out before making his way back outside. A cool wave of relief washes over him when he sees Liam's still where he had left him. All alone. Another stab.

Scott walks up to him.

"I thought you were-"

"Here," Scott pushes the can into his hands. "I know you don't like it, but you need to stay awake if you wanna party."

Liam's oceanic eyes are full of surprise when he looks at the can of Red Bull in his hands. He laughs, shaking his head as he opens it.

"This doesn't mean I approve of your lifestyle," he comments through the sizzling sound of the pressure that is released when he opens the lid.

Scott grins at his joke.

"God, that is disgusting," Liam says after he has taken a chug.

Scott's laughing at Liam's half closed eyes and face full of horror. Butterflies break free from their chrysalises in his belly, and the fluttering sensation makes him feel good. All of the awkward tension has vanished like snow in the sunlight and Scott blames himself for not noticing earlier how beautifully the moonlight is hitting Liam's sculptured face.

"Come on. Let's go," he says after Liam has finished half the can. He grabs the boy by the wrist, causing him to drop his red cup, and leads him towards his friends. Lydia has joined them as wel,l and they all look pleasantly surprised when the duo joins them.

"Guys, this is Liam," Scott introduces the fifteen year old. A proud smile is spread across his face.

The boys all say hi and the girls shoot him a quick wave. Liam waves back, still a little shy.

Scott's hand is still wrapped around Liam's wrist and he can feel the rapid beating of his heart through his veins. The older one brushes his thumb across his skin, just once, feeling the coldness of it. Still, it warms his neck.

"So how do you like Beacon High, Liam?" Kira asks, sweet as always.

"It's okay," he answers. "It's different from my old school, but good different." He doesn't think about it when he takes another sip from the can. The chemical flavors flood his mouth and he sticks out his tongue. "Here," he offers the drink back to Scott. "You have the rest of it."

Scott beams down at him when he feels the can's almost empty. It's a small gesture, but something Liam has done especially for him. He doesn't like Red Bull, but he still drank it, because Scott wanted him to. The air is cold, but Scott's body's warm and goose bumps have spread across his skin.

More and more stars come out as the night deepens. Scott and his friends have sat down on the ground in a corner of Lydia's backyard. The party's at its peak, the scent of sticky alcohol spilling into the air, mixed with the music that has been turned up even louder. Scott's sitting cross legged and Liam's in the same position next to him. Their knees are touching, but neither of them seems to mind. Shivers launch themselves through Scott's body every time Liam moves and they rub together. To Scott, it's a constant reminder that he's there, and he's pretty sure his stomach is digesting the butterflies by now. It sounds cruel, but it only means their magic is being turned into a liquid form. Scott's heart is pumping it around his body through his veins, hitting every muscle. He's buzzing, vibrating and it's the most amazing feeling in the world.

"Scott?"

The teenager turns his head towards Liam, stepping out of the conversation he had been mingled in with his friends.

"Hmm?"

"Why did you come up to me on my first day?"

The question comes out of nowhere and it startles Scott for a moment.

"Honestly?" Scott replies. Liam nods. "Because I figured that you were new, and might need to meet a friendly face."

Liam's cheeks flush. Scott never would have thought that silver and pink could mix together so well. "Really?"

"Yeah. I mean, it would've sucked if you were all alone," Scott explains. "It was later that day when I figured out that you actually weren't, but..." He grins, scratching the back of his head.

Liam chuckles. Scott notices he's quivering.

"Have you always been like that?"

"Like what?"

"Sweet?"

Scott licks his lips, which had run dry from the heat on his face. "I guess so," he shrugs, leather jacket hanging half off his shoulders.

Liam's staring at him and Scott doesn't dare to look back, because he's sure if he looks back and holds Liam's gaze for too long, he will try to kiss him…so he doesn't look back. He resists the urge to look back.

Liam changes his position, sitting back down and drawing his knees up to his chest, arms wrapped around his legs. Scott misses the touching of their knees and Liam shivers again.

"I've never been alone," the boy suddenly brings up.

"Haven't you?"

"No. Never."

"Hmm."

"Have you?"

Scott thinks about that question for a moment. "Not exactly. I've always had my mom. Ever since my dad left we became really close."

"Same here," Liam admits. "My step-dad's great. He always took me out to sports games and stuff. I'm pretty sure he's even better than my actual father. Although, apart from the whole tree house thing, I don't think I really know the man, so..."

"You don't?"

"Nope. He left when I was five years old or something," Liam explains. One side of his face is darkened by the night.

"Do you miss him?"

"Do you miss your dad?"

"Not really, no."

"Me neither."

Scott nods. Liam's shivering again. Finally, Scott takes a deep breath and decides to take a chance.

"Are you cold?" he asks.

Liam shrugs. "A little, not too bad."

"Oh."

Scott bites his tongue, and purses his lips, debating what he should do. It takes him a while, but in the end he caves and slips his arms out of his jacket. He's wearing a thick sweater anyway and Liam's only dressed in a long sleeved shirt. The boy's watching him with curious eyes. Scott picks up the piece of clothing and spreads it across Liam's shoulders. The boy shies away slightly, but still mumbles a soft 'thank you'.

Scott's body relaxes when he isn't blown off, and he beams down at Liam, glad that he could do something nice for him. It is in that moment Scott realizes he would love to do nice things for Liam all day, every day. Especially when the rays of moonlight continue to coat Liam's hair like this. It

makes Scott's brain foggy with wonderful clouds of precious thoughts. He takes a moment to truly cherish this moment where he feels like he's on top of the world. His fingertips tingle, anxious to finally feel the softness of Liam's face. His lips are prickling in anticipation and his mind is fuzzy. It's filled with velvety pillows and feathers and puppies and it's getting to be way too much.

"Would you like another drink?" he asks the younger boy.

"Sure, why not?" Liam answers, a small smile splayed across his lips. "Shall I come with you?"

"Nah," Scott waves his offer away. "I'll be quick."

Liam shrugs. "Okay then. I'll be here."

Hearing those words, Scott feels like fainting. He gets up and takes off, floating past people. Cloud nine is the best and no one can convince him otherwise. He doesn't even notice a pair of heels following him with pounding steps until he's in the kitchen.

"So, your crush is wearing your leather jacket. Now, do you, A, tell him you like him? B, tell him you like him? Or, C, tell him you like him?" Lydia slurs, leaning against the kitchen counter, her arms crossed in front of her chest. Her words cause a goofy smile to spread across Scott's face, but the boy doesn't take his eyes off of the drinks he's preparing.

The young woman gives him an expecting look, but when Scott doesn't reply, she continues, "Or, D, all of the above?"

There's a faint blush on Scott's cheeks, and he shakes his head. He takes the two drinks from the counter and turns to look at Lydia, who had been trying to catch his gaze. "I'm not going to tell him," he answers.

Lydia's body falls forward as she sighs. "Alright, let me explain to you one more time how it works..." She's pointing her finger at Scott, her other hand grabbing him firmly by the shoulder. "...Boy likes girl," she grins. "...Or boy likes boy, whatever. Boy tells other boy he likes him, boy and boy hook up, boy and boy live happily ever after." She holds up her hands. "Simple as that."

Scott nods along with her, eyebrows raised. "Or..." he starts. "...Boy tells other boy, other boy doesn't like boy and their whole relationship goes to hell."

Lydia rolls her eyes. "Scott, for the love of God, he's wearing your jacket," she exclaims, now pointing outside the door instead of at Scott.

"Because he's cold."

"You're seriously that oblivious?"

"Yes."

Lydia places her hands on her hips, staring at Scott for a moment. "Okay," she gives in. "Do whatever you want. Nonetheless, I've got your back."

Scott's heart warms. "Thanks, Lydia," he responds.

"But I'm almost a hundred percent sure he likes you too," she adds quickly.

"Almost," Scott repeats her words.

She purses her full lips and gives Scott a look. "Fine."

Scott smiles triumphantly, because it's not every day that one wins an argument with Lydia Martin.

"I love you."

"Yeah, I love you, too, you doofus. Now go be with your crush."

Scott can't help but laugh, revelling in the warmth of her caring as he walks out of the kitchen. There are people dancing in the living room and they're bumping into Scott, but he doesn't care. He's pretty sure nothing in the entire world could bring him down in that moment, and it's crazy, because Liam is only wearing his jacket. They haven't kissed. They aren't in a relationship. Scott doesn't even know for sure if Liam likes him back. Yet he's in a euphoric mood.

He figures that's what admitting your feelings does to you.

To Scott's, and actually everyone's, disappointment the party comes to an end. It's late into the night, and very early in the morning when everyone hugs Lydia goodbye. Her friends are the only ones who stay, since they had promised to help clean up the mess.

"Liam? Are you coming?" Mason asks. He already has his coat on. Garrett's standing next to him. "Or are you staying?"

Liam looks up at them and then back at Scott. He bites his lip, debating his options, before he hesitates and Scott lets himself hope.

"Yeah, I'm coming."

And the hope's smashed to pieces.

"I can take you home, as well?" Scott tries.

"Nah, it's alright. I'll go with them," Liam declines with a smile. He slips out of Scott's jacket and hands it back to him. Scott reluctantly takes it.

"See you at school?" Liam asks.

"Yes, for sure," Scott answers, masking his disappointment.

Liam nods, fumbling with his fingers. Silence falls between them and the rest of Scott's friend have already started picking up trash. Mason and Garrett have already moved to the front door.

"I should go..."

"Hmhm."

"So..."

"Yeah."

Scott narrows his eyes down at Liam. The boy seems uncomfortable and Scott doesn't like it. There are rocks inside his stomach again.

"Are you okay?"

Liam nods. "Yeah, I'm fine." He rubs the nose of his shoe with his other, staring down at them.

"...Are you sure?"

"Yeah, I just..." Liam closes his mouth again and sighs through his nostrils. Scott cocks his head.

"I had a nice time."

Scott's heart flutters inside his chest. "Me too." He smiles.

And as suddenly as lightning, Liam's small frame is wrapped around Scott's waist. It takes Scott by surprise, but he only needs a beat to return the gesture, hugging Liam back. The older guy squeezes the boy against his body for a moment. Fireworks are exploding in Scott's chest, firing through his veins, warming his limbs. He breathes in Liam's scent, reminding him of honey, which has the same color as his hair. Scott notices how perfectly Liam's chin fits in the crook of his neck, cheek pressed against his collar bone. The stars above them shine a little brighter and the moon throws a protective blanket around them, where only they exist.

But they have to let go.

"Liam!"

They really have to let go.

"Liam, come on!" Mason yells, poking his head through the backdoor again. He's holding something in his hands.

Liam had brought his own jacket.

Sunday is lazy. Scott spends it studying and daydreaming, recalling last night's events. He knows he should tell Liam how he feels; knows he's not being honest when he doesn't. He hasn't blinked for two minutes, just staring at the nothingness in front of him. His desk chair makes a cracking sound when he stretches his body and folds his hands behind his head.

He's chewing on the end of his pencil, a hard look spread across his face. The thing with love is that there are never any clear signs if someone likes you back. You can't trust yourself anymore, because maybe you're making stuff up in your mind. Everything's brighter, more colorful, warmer...blinder. It doesn't matter if that person sneezes or sits a certain way or if he has a blue lunchbox, because all of it is beautiful. Scott wonders if Liam has any allergies, asks himself what the boy's favorite food is. He takes mental notes of everything he wants to know about Liam, only to conclude that what he wants to know is, indeed, everything.

The sun is out, drawing shadows on Scott's desk. They're dancing on his books, rays of light spilling around the branches of the tree outside. Scott remembers Liam's cheekbones. The vague pink coloration of them. The way Liam's Adam's apple moves when he swallows. The tip of his velvety tongue. How his face knows many sides; sharp edges, hooked lines and rounded softness. The cold sweat in his hands. He relives the conversation in the library, where Liam opened up to him for the first time. He recalls their lunch, where Liam made Scott laugh. He hears Liam's words again in his mind. 'I could never be mad, especially not at you'.

And it takes a while, but as the last day of the week slugs on, it starts to dawn on Scott that Lydia might be right. And the realization doesn't slap him across the face. And the clouds are still drifting in front of the sun outside. And it's still winter, and it's still cold.

But inside Scott's chest, it's warm and hopeful. His muscles are flexing and his rib cage rises with his heavy breathing. His heart is expanding, feeling like it's about to burst when he finally makes a decision.

He's going to tell Liam.

Though, before he finally does, he fails a couple of times. At first, his nerves got to him. The second time he and Liam get interrupted by an overexcited Stiles, who had finally experienced life as the big spoon. The third time Scott had settled on a more private setting, but Liam got called to come home. The time after that, Scott was so frantic about them getting interrupted again that he ran out of

time. And now, December is making room for January. The holiday spirit passes and a new year starts. Everyone's full of faith and resolutions, which they're going to fail at keeping in two weeks. It's Monday, Blue Monday, the most depressing day of the year, yet Scott's cheerful. Because today is the day.

He's humming sappy melodies as he moves through the school's hallways. It's lunchtime, and Scott's looking for Liam. He catches him sitting at one of the tables with Mason and Garrett. With his chest pushed out, he walks up to them. Garrett is the first to notice him and nods politely at him. Mason just waves, eyeing Scott in the same way as he always does, and Liam's face lights up.

"Hey, Scott. Did you have a nice holiday?" Mason asks, the tip of his index finger drawing circles on the white lunch table. Meanwhile he's staring up at Scott, who's standing at the head of said table.

"Yeah, it was great, thanks. I just spent a lot of time with my mom," he answers before he turns to Liam. "Can I talk to you for a sec?" He doesn't want to waste any more time.

Liam's eyes turn inquisitive and he nods. "Yeah, sure."

Scott smiles down at him and leaves the cafeteria, Liam on his heels.

"Where are we going?"

"Outside."

"Why?"

"I don't know. Because."

"Are you okay?"

"I'm fine. Just need to talk to you."

They walk around a corner of the building. Liam hides his chin under his jacket, shivering from the cold. Scott always seems to forget December isn't the end of the wintertime. The real coldness comes afterwards.

"So, what's up?" Liam asks. "Why the secrecy?" His eyes glisten in such a way that Scott can tell he's smiling behind his collar.

Scott opens his mouth, but finds himself at a loss of words. He mentally rolls his eyes at himself.

"Well, before you start thinking the worst, everything's fine," he starts. Liam lets out a sigh and Scott relaxes when he realizes Liam was worrying about him. Something only a true friend does.

"Then what do you need to talk about?" Liam wonders, voice low, open.

"Well, the thing is..." Scott's words are heavy and they fall onto the pavement between them. He could almost pick them up and offer them to Liam…which would be a lot easier, now that he thinks of it.

"Scott?"

"Yeah? Yeah," he jolts back to reality, blinking. "Right." He makes a weird hand gesture. "The thing is...that..." He puffs out a breath. "Here's the thing..."

Liam chuckles. "Scott, you're being silly." He takes a step forward, killing some of the distance between them. "Just tell me what's up." His face is pale from the cold, but his cheeks and nose have reddened. Scott thinks he looks fragile and gorgeous.

"I like you, Liam," he blurts out. The dam inside of him breaks and Scott starts spilling words like a waterfall. "I mean, I really like you. I think you're amazing and funny and interesting and... And cute and hot, all at the same time. You've been on my mind ever since I met you and I just..." His steaming breath evaporates in the air, a broad smile on his face. "And I just like you. It took me a while to figure it out and then some more whiles until I had the guts to tell you, but I do."

Liam's blinking up at Scott, jaw dropped an inch. He's staring, and Scott's using all his strength to keep himself together. His pulse is pounding in his temples and there's a tickling sensation in his bones.

But the clouds in the sky thicken and the scenery around them turns a shade darker when Liam takes a step back. A freezing wind cuts into Scott's ears and he slowly raises a hand, fearing the worst.

Liam takes another step and Scott watches as he loses him. He stands by and sees their friendship starting to crack and break between them. Another step. Shards of their past shatter onto the pavement and Scott's mouth forms an inaudible 'no' while Liam shakes his head. The wind howls against the brick walls of what could have been. Something inside Scott rips into a million pieces. They fall into a pit of his stomach, heavy like lead.

Liam mutters a soft, "I'm sorry", before he turns around and takes off, back into the safety of the school. He leaves Scott to be with his biggest fear, which is freezing his insides to death. And as Scott watches Liam walking away from him, he suddenly remembers an important trait about the boy. One he had forgotten about.

Liam's terrified of falling.

Scott doesn't move for a while, frozen in the sheer cold. He goes back inside to grab his helmet from his locker. He takes it, turns around, walks out just as quickly and moves over to his bike. He kicks it to life and drives off, mind set on going home. He doesn't want to be at school anymore. Not when he feel this embarrassed and this stupid.

Two hours later, Scott's doorbell rings multiple times. It sounds impatient and pressuring. He sighs, gets up from his bed and checks his phone that he had thrown onto his desk. He has fourteen missed calls; seven of them are Stiles', five of them belong to Lydia and Kira's name's displayed twice.

Which is why he isn't surprised when all of them are there when he opens the door.

"Hey, guys," he says with a sad undertone in his voice. They're all looking at him with this look and it makes Scott feel even sorrier for himself.

Five minutes later, they're all piled onto a heap on Scott's bed. Lydia has her back against the wall and Stiles is sat next to her. Scott has his head in her lap and his legs splayed across Stiles' thighs. Malia's settled on Scott's stomach and Kira is holding his hand.

"I'm going to rip out his throat," Malia comments after Scott has told them how everything had gone down.

It manages to make Scott chuckle. "I don't think that will help the situation," he replies, patting her head.

"Well, I can at least give him a piece of my mind," Stiles interrupts, teeth gritting together.

"And he really didn't say anything when you told him?" Kira asks for confirmation, rubbing Scott's fingers.

"Apart from a soft 'I'm sorry'," Scott answers with a deep sigh.

"Which is the worst thing someone could say when they reject you," Lydia adds to his words. She gives an obvious look, stroking Scott's hair.

Scott shrugs a little. "It's whatever. I shouldn't have told him."

"No," Kira disagrees. "No, Scott, it's good that you told him. You're brave for having done so."

"Yeah, you did nothing wrong, buddy," Stiles chimes in.

"At least now you finally know how much of a jerk he is," Malia says, venom dripping from her words. She's staring up at the ceiling with a hard look.

But Scott still doesn't think Liam's a jerk. He just wants this nauseating feeling to go away and for his stomach to stop hurting. "I'm sorry I went AWOL on you guys. I just didn't feel like staying at school," Scott apologizes.

"Oh, please, we understand," Lydia waves his words away.

"Yeah, I think I would've done the same if I were you," Kira comforts him.

Scott licks his lips. "You guys are the best. For being here."

"We'll always be here, man," Stiles assures him, rubbing his shins. "Promise."

The rest of the group agrees, and Scott empties his lungs again in one big huff. His chest is still tight around his rib cage, but at least he feels like he can breathe again.

"So, what now?" Lydia asks after a while.

`Scott frowns. "What do you mean, what now?"

"What's your next step going to be?"

"There isn't a next step," Scott responds, a weird look on his face. "It's over. I mean, it's not like Liam and I can go back to being friends as if nothing happened."

"Can't you, though?"

Scott purses his lips, his frown deepening. "I don't want to," he then admits. "I don't want anything to do with him anymore." And that's not true, but he figures the least he can do is try to convince himself that it is.

"You're gonna run into him during Lacrosse practice, though," Stiles reminds him. "He's still on the team and you're still captain."

And Scott knows that, but it's not for another two days.

"That's okay... I can keep it professional, I suppose..."

The next day he manages to avoid Liam, except for one moment. They cross each other in the hallway at school and Scott literally has to close his eyes as they walk past each other. The boulders in his stomach scrape together when Liam looks at him. For a moment it seems like the boy wants to say something, but Scott isn't sure if that's true or if he's just making it up in his mind. After all, his sadness hasn't made place for anger yet, which indicates that he's still in phase one of getting over Liam. Phase two would be hating Liam's guts, a concept that was yet foreign and unimaginable to Scott.

Because there were still several explanations in his mind as to why Liam had reacted the way he had done. Maybe Scott had just taken him off guard and now he was scared of talking to him. Maybe Liam felt like Scott needed his space. Maybe he regretted walking away, but didn't have the courage to tell Scott.

But all those 'maybe's' were hopeless, because Scott still didn't know if any of them were the actual reason. They were still loose ends. Questions.

Forty eight hours pass, and before Scott knows it, he's standing on the lacrosse field. As expected, Liam's there. The grass has frozen and the dirt feels rock solid. Scott watches Liam perform, more energetic and fanatic than he has ever seen him. Millions of needles seem to poke at Scott's heart. Luckily, Stiles is there to keep him distracted for most of the practice. His best friend is making stupid jokes, complaining about how hard his life is, and it's making Scott laugh.

Liam doesn't shower when they finish their practice. He just picks up his bag and leaves. Scott's face falls and again there's this pit in his stomach. He rubs his face, wondering when this aching feeling will stop. When this demon will stop taunting his insides.

Something unexpected happens when Scott comes out of the shower. He has a loose towel around his waist and his hair is still wet. Tiny water drops are dripping onto his chest when Mason steps in front of him. He had come out of nowhere.

"I need to talk to you," he urges, a stern look in his eyes.

Scott opens his mouth to say something, but Stiles proves to be quicker, moving in between them.

"He really, really doesn't," he says.

"Dude, I get that you're looking out for your friend, but so am I," Mason replies, not backing down.

Stiles takes a stronger stance, chin up. "Get lost, Mason," he warns. "Scott doesn't need your bullshit."

Mason groans. He steps to the side and meets Scott's gaze over Stiles' shoulder. "Scott, it's not what you think."

"Hey, what part of 'get lost' don't you understand?" Stiles barks, and he gives Mason a firm push. The guy stumbles on his feet, but manages to maintain his balance.

"Dude, just hear me out!" Mason exclaims, offended.

Scott bites his bottom lip. "Let him talk, Stiles," he says weakly.

Stiles glares at Mason for a second longer before he moves out of the way and goes back to dressing himself. Mason rolls his eyes at him before he moves closer to Scott.

"Look, man, I know what happened. Liam told me," he starts. Scott averts his gaze in embarrassment. He can tell Stiles is watching them. "He screwed up. Greatly. But you have to know that he's hurting, too."

Scott ears prick up, and he flicks his eyes back at Mason. "What do you mean?" he asks, his voice cracking a little.

"He hasn't been himself lately..." Mason explains. "...I've only seen him like this once before and I'm worried. He stopped taking his medication again and he has been on the lacrosse field for the past two nights. Anyway, he shot me down when I confronted him about it and..." He sighs, and Scott can tell the boy's genuinely concerned for his best friend. "...And, Scott, I know Liam hurt you and that you don't have any reason to go talk to him, but please be the bigger person and do so? I promise you there's an explanation about why Liam did what he did."

A lump has formed in Scott's throat and he swallows around it. A shiver runs up his spine and he's cold. "I'll think about," he whispers.

Mason nods and holds Scott's gaze for a second longer before he turns around and walks off. Scott scratches his upper arm, and Stiles is next to him in the blink of an eye.

"Please tell me you don't believe him."

But Scott has already made his choice. Tonight, he's going to do something he might regret.

A couple of hours later, after dinner, Scott leaves his house. Stiles has diagnosed Scott with insanity for going to see Liam. As it happened, Lydia had cheered him on, even if it was only for him to get some closure.

He drives to the back of the school. The moon is full and the sky is clear. Scott's leather jacket is hugging his upper body and his gloves are protecting his fingers from going numb. He takes them off along with his helmet when he arrives at the lacrosse field. In the distance, he can hear faint grunts and the sound of balls hitting the goal's net.

Scott comes up from behind the bleachers and turns a corner to walk up on them. He sits down on the sixth row, almost at the top, his breathing forming clouds in the cold air. As expected, Liam's on the field. He doesn't seem like he has noticed Scott yet, caught up in his own little bubble. He's not wearing his lacrosse clothes, just has his stick with him. Scott watches him shoot ball after ball. His arms are moving with such force, it makes Scott shiver. Every single shot goes into the net and he can tell from the fog around Liam's head that he's painting heavily.

The boy picks up another ball, spins his body around and...

Misses.

Liam throws his stick onto the ground and a loud scream erupts from his throat. The howl makes goose bumps run across every inch of Scott's skin, and there's that stabbing pain in his heart again. A trembling breath leaves his lungs as he watches Liam slip further away into his rampage.

The boy launches off, sprinting towards the ball that hadn't made it into the goal. He's there in a split second, and bends down to pick up the round object. When he looks up, his gaze is suddenly on Scott and Scott's heart sinks down. Liam stares at him and the ball drops from his hand.

Scott gives him a crooked smile, along with a single wave of his hand. The wind sweeps through his hair and his toes curl. He's trembling when Liam jogs up to him.

"Scott?"

The older one nods. It's a small response, but hey, at least it's something. The air is fragile around them, like glass. One punch and it'll break, and they'll both get cut. One punch and they'll scar.

Liam sniffs.

"Scott, I'm so-"

He rubs his nose, and Scott can tell it's just as red as the rest of his face. Liam bites down on his lip and takes another step towards the bleachers. His shins are touching the first row and he's still looking up at Scott.

"Hey, Liam," Scott says. His words drift into the air, softly, just a little louder than a whisper.

Liam's body ripples into sobs. His pant-infused breath is hitching in his throat, and his hands are balled into fists. The moonlight is trapped in his messy hair and Scott still wants to ruffle it.

"Scott, I'm so sorry," Liam cries. "I'm so sorry for walking away from you." He rests his knees on top of the benches. "I got scared and I just..." His voice breaks again. "...I panicked." He gets back up on his own two feet. "And I'm sorry, okay?" Scott can tell his body is tensing up. "I'm so fucking stupid!" His foot sets off and he kicks the metal railing of the bleachers. Not once. Not twice. He keeps kicking it until Scott can tell he's hurting. It's the worst sight in the world and it makes Scott get up and walk down towards Liam. The boy has sat down and is now crying into his hands.

He's one big ball of frustration and it's awful. Scott can hardly watch, because he knows Liam's falling, and he knows that's what he's most scared of.

He crouches down in front of the boy, trying to look at him, but Liam's palms are still covering his eyes. His sobs rip through Scott's heart. "Hey," he whispers. "Calm down..."

"I can't," Liam cries. The helplessness in his voice is high pitched. "I didn't take my meds."

Scott cocks his head at him. "You don't need your meds," he assures him. "I'm here." His voice sounds a bit hoarse, raw. It cracks with every two words he speaks. Scott sees how tightly Liam has drawn up his shoulders. He knows how harsh the muscles there are squeezing together right now, because he has felt them before. The boy's small frame is quivering all over.

"Yeah, but I hurt you," Liam sobs. "And I always do that. I always damage the people around me. I wreck them. Whether it's their car or actually them." He sniffs, finally removing his hands from his face and looking down at Scott. "It always comes down to the same thing."

Scott looks into Liam's eyes, which are puffy from crying. His nose is runny and lips dry. Scott shakes his head. "You didn't wreck me."

Liam sniffs, wiping his nose. "I didn't?"

"No, you didn't," Scott assures him. A gentle smile splays around his lips. "You just..." Scott sighs. "...You got scared. And there's nothing wrong with that."

Liam licks his lips, averting his gaze. Silence drapes around them for a moment, the moon and the stars looking down at them. The hoot of an owl sounds out from deep in the woods. The wind rustles through the trees, and they're all alone. No one's there to bother them. They're coated in a protective silver light, and Scott's heart is healing. His own words sink into his ears, dawning on him. He can't blame Liam for what he did. Not after all they've been through, not after what his friend alone has been through. He can't criticize Liam's actions, when they're only a reaction to his past. A history Scott hasn't been a part of, but had only heard of.

A couple of minutes later, Liam's crying has died into the night. His breathing is sounding steadier again and Scott's legs are numb. He has lost feeling in them from crouching, and his knees crack when he gets up. He sits down next to Liam, who huffs out a deep breath.

"So..."

"Yeah..."

Scott folds his hands together, elbows resting on his thighs. "What now?" he repeats Lydia's words.

Liam shrugs. His face scrunches in on itself. "I'm guessing you don't like me anymore," he whispers with a bitter undertone.

Scott's eyebrows knit together and he turns to look at Liam. "Are you joking? I think I like you even more now."

Liam's eyes widen and he looks back at Scott. "You can't be serious," he says.

"I am, though," Scott replies. "I still think you're amazing...funny...interesting...cute...hot...all at the same time."

Pink mixes with silver again and Scott stretches out his hand. He finally touches the faint blush on Liam's cheek. His skin's warm, full of electricity and the touch surges through Scott's bones. He rubs his thumb across the softness of it with a thoughtful look. It doesn't feel like how he had imagined it would feel. It's way better. It's as if the stars in the sky are igniting and exploding into a million shades of gold. Liam's eyes are clear and Scott can see right through them. There's no more red, just silver. They've lost their mystery. The three walls that were once blocking him out are gone; all unveiled. The ocean's shimmering as clear as day and Scott's not drowning, but floating in its color.

"Scott?"

"Hmm?"

Liam skips a beat as he stares back into Scott's depths. "I'm really sorry for hurting you." He swallows and Scott watches. "The moment you said liked-"

"Like," Scott corrects him with a sincere smile.

"Right," Liam grins, blushing a little. "The moment you said you like me, I just choked. I mean... I've never really liked anyone before and I think the only reference I have to love is the fact that my mom and dad split up."

"But your mom found your step-dad and now they're happy, right?" Scott reminds him, cocking his head a little.

"That's true," Liam admits. "And... And I know that. Just not...back then. I guess I forgot. It's just that, when I heard you say those words, I was confronted with so many different feelings. Sure, I was happy, but I was also aware that we might break up someday and I wouldn't want that. I mean, you-"

He huffs out a small giggle, a scoff. "You make me feel so...I don't even know how to describe it."

"I understand," Scott assures him.

"No. No, you don't," Liam disagrees, trying to think of the right words. His facial expression twists into something thoughtful and then Scott can practically see a light bulb popping up above his head. "You're my Red Bull!"

Scott's face lights up at the reference and he starts laughing.

"Just without the foul taste," Liam adds, grinning widely.

Scott's laughter dies down and he bites his lip. He stares at the boy for a moment. "That's great, Liam."

Liam sighs, shies away, but he looks relaxed. "Anyway, I guess I just want you to know that you're not alone and... And that I really like you, too."

And the tips of Scott's ears heat up at those words. His stomach is fluttering, flipping in his stomach. His heart expands and bursts out of its rib cage, a passionate warmth spreading throughout his chest, tickling at his limbs. The biggest smile he has ever had is around his lips; so large that it's flashing his teeth. He feels like his lips are going to rip apart if he doesn't stop grinning idiotically.

"But..." Liam swallows, eyes upping a little in a suggestive way. "...I'm kinda new."

It's stupid, but funny and really well thought of and Scott bursts into laughter. His hand slips off Liam's cheek and sneaks around his shoulders, which have finally slumped down. He pulls the younger one, who's giggling softly, tight against his body. Liam's chin finds that perfect spot in Scott's neck again, cheek pressed against his color bone. His arms cross around Scott's waist as he settles against him.

Scott feels Liam's trembling. He frowns, because he's pretty sure the boy isn't frustrated anymore.

"Are you cold?" he asks.

"A little. Not too bad," Liam's muffled response sounds.

Scott smiles and he moves so that he can pull down the zipper on his coat. He wraps his arm around Liam again and the boy nestles back into his original spot.

They share Scott's jacket and the world is silent. Looking at the field in front of them, their minds both go back to when they first met.

"It was a good game, wasn't it?"

"It was great."


End file.
